Honor your Father and your Mother
Written by arkwriter   
Wednesday, 05 August 2009 02:52



Honor  your  Father  and  your  Mother



In America there are two holidays that always fall on a Sunday.  One is Father’s Day that falls on the third Sunday of June, and the other is Mother’s Day that falls on the second Sunday in May.  Both holidays are celebrated in different countries of the world on different days because honoring parents by the expression of gratitude, love and affection is a universal virtue that is woven into the fabric of most societies regardless of race, ethnic origin or culture.


God placed honoring father and mother in the Ten Commandments which are written on two tablets of stone.  On the first tablet are written the first four commandments that concern man’s worship and relationship to the One True God.  On the second tablet are written the next six commandments that concern man’s dealings and relationship with other people.


  The  Fifth  Commandment

The Fifth Commandment is placed in three books of the Old Testament.Exodus 20:12

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.”Deuteronomy 5:16

“Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the LORD your God is giving you.”Leviticus 19:3“Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father, and keep My Sabbaths: I am the LORD your God.” 

Honoring the father and mother is not a suggestion, advice, request, appeal or proposal by God.  It is not an option that one can choose whether or not to follow.  It is a commandment that must be obeyed.  Those who obey this commandment will receive God’s blessings. 

·              You will have a long life.  “that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.”

·              You will have a good life:   “Children, obey your parents in the LORD, for this is right.  “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise.  ”that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”  (Eph. 6:1-3)

·              It has connection with keeping the Sabbath day holy.


Parents  and  Children  Relationship 


“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.  Then God bless them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; . . . “ (Gen. 1:27-28) 

God is the originator of the family. It was established by God in the sacred institution of the marriage between a man and a woman. The Bible further defines the family through God's instruction for married couples to have children. The purpose of the family is to glorify and honor God by forming the spiritual, emotional, physical, and economic foundation for individuals, the church, the community and any society.  

It is at home that the reality of a person’s relationship with the One True God in the Lord Jesus Christ is developed. It is at home that children see manhood and womanhood modeled.  It is at home that moral values are taught by parents and placed into the hearts of their children.  It is at home that people learn to live out their convictions. Therefore, Christians must be committed to uphold the concept of family as God's original and primary means of producing a godly offspring and passing on godly values from generation to generation. (Eph. 3:14-15; Gen. 1:26-28; Rom. 8:15,23; Jn. 1:12; Gal. 3:29; Psm. 78:5-7; Deut. 6:4-9)



Honoring  Parents  from

Childhood  through  Adulthood 


One of the greatest fallacies that unbelievers have is the idea that honoring parents is only for children who are minors and it does not apply to adults who are over 18 years old.  Some feel that once they have established their own families they are no longer obligated to honor their parents. 

The Fifth Commandment is given by God not only for children but also for every Christian regardless of age or marital status.  God’s promise of longevity given to those who honor their parents indicate it is a lifelong commitment.  The Holy Bible teaches that adult and married Christians have two important duties to perform in their lives.  The first is the bearing and raising of children in the LORD (Deut. 6:4-9; Pro. 22:6; Eph. 6:1; Col. 3:20).  The second is to honor the parents by caring for them in their declining years.   

It is natural and even good for children, as they grow older, to become increasingly independent of their parents. They begin to see their parents’ weaknesses and hang-ups.  It is easy to think that they do not need to listen to their aged parents.  But that’s not the way the Bible tells us how to live.  Solomon is the wisest man who ever lived and yet he received instructions from his dying father David (1 Kin. 2:1-4).  Solomon honored his father by writing about the importance of heeding instructions from parents.  Here is what he wrote in Proverbs 6:20-22 : 

20     My son, keep your father's command, And do not forsake the law of your mother.  

21     Bind them continually upon your heart; Tie them around your neck.

22     When you roam, they will lead you;  When you sleep, they will keep you; And when you awake, they will speak with you. 

The best way for a young adult to honor his parents is to pattern his life after the best of what his parents taught him.  Develop the character that your parents patterned for you.  Make them happy that you’re their child.  Proverbs 23:22-25 states: 

22     Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old.

23     Buy the truth, and do not sell it, Also wisdom and instruction and understanding.  

24     The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, And he who begets a wise child will delight in him.

25     Let your father and your mother be glad, And let her who bore you rejoice.


Honoring  Parents  by  marrying

someone  of  the  same  Faith 


One of the most popular concepts amongst young people in highly developed countries is that marriage is a private matter between a boy and a girl, and it has nothing to do with God or parents.  For a Christian nothing can be further from the truth than this way of thinking.  Marriage is an institution established by God, and if He and parents are not involved there is a high probability that it will fail.   

From the very beginning this is how God got involved in marriage.  “Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.” (Gen. 2:22).  Here is a good example of how God and the parents got involved in the marriage of their son (Gen. 24:1-4). 

1       Now Abraham was old, well advanced in age; and the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things.

2       So Abraham said to the oldest servant of his house, who ruled over all that he had, "Please, put your hand under my thigh,

3       and I will make you swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of the earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell;

4       but you shall go to my country and to my family, and take a wife for my son Isaac."   

Abraham was adamant his son Isaac cannot marry “the daughters of the Canaanites”.  God forbids marriages with heathens (Gen. 24:3; 28:1; Deut. 7:3; Josh. 23:12; Ezr. 9:12; Neh. 13:25).  “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.  For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness?  And what communion has light with darkness?  And what accord has Christ with Belial?  Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?” (2 Cor. 6:14-15)  To all these questions the answer is “None whatsoever!”  Christians should only marry within the same faith. 

Isaac had never seen his future wife but he agreed to his father Abraham’s decision for him to marry some one from his own relatives.  After Rebekah arrived “Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent; and he took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her.  So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.”  (Gen. 24:67)   

It becomes obvious from the outset of this story that God is the real matchmaker in the marriage.  When the servant related to Rebekah’s family the indications of God’s guidance, her brother and her father agreed. “The thing comes from the Lord,” they said (Gen. 24:50). No matter what kinds of problems a marriage may encounter, they will be easier to solve if both husband and wife have a settled assurance that God has brought them together.  Another important point about this marriage is that Isaac “took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her.”  Isaac not only honored his father and mother by marrying some one that they had approved, he also honored the institution of marriage by loving his wife after they are married. 

Young people from Christian homes should acknowledge that parents have the responsibility to get involved in their choice of lifelong partners.  They should also fully understand that marriage is established by God, and it is because of their parents’ relationship with each other that they are born into the world.  It is a great way to honor their fathers and mothers by accepting parental involvement in their marriage. 


Honoring  Parents  by  Caring

for  them  in  their  Old  Age 


Not only do children growing up in the home have responsibilities toward their parents, but grown Christian children also have responsibilities to their parents in their old age.   The Scripture declares that children have a duty to honor their parents, who gave them existence and cared for them for many years, who spent their money on them, who provided for their every need and educated them.  This responsibility does not end when the children turn eighteen.  Grown children have an obligation to honor their parents until the day they die.   

How, then, are we to honor our elderly parents?  We are to provide for them in their old age as they have need, for when we were dependent on them, they took care of us.  And now, when they are dependent, it is not the government or anybody else, but their own children who are responsible for taking care of them through personal acts of love. 

In Matthew 15 the Pharisees devised a way to shirk their responsibility toward their parents, but Jesus rebuked them for doing so:  

3     He answered and said to them, "Why do you also transgress the commandment of God because of your tradition?

4     For God commanded, saying, "Honor your father and your mother'; and, "He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.'

5     But you say, "Whoever says to his father or mother, "Whatever profit you might have received from me is a gift to God"—

6     then he need not honor his father or mother.'  Thus you have made the commandment of God of no effect by your tradition.  

These people were telling their parents, “What I was going to provide you with, I have given offerings to the Lord; therefore, I cannot give you anything.”   Jesus accurately labeled them:  “You hypocrites!”  And in John 19:25-27 we see Jesus Christ carrying out his final responsibility to his mother.  From the cross He instructed John, “Behold your mother!” meaning, “Take care of her for the rest of her life.”   

In 1 Timothy 5:4 we are told, “But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God.”  Think about that.  You see, we have defined the family down to just a husband and wife and two children.  But that is not the way the Bible defines family.  Verse 8 says, But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”  The “household” includes parents, grandparents, and everybody else who live in the same house.  Taking care of parents in their old age is not only a good way of honoring them, but it also ensures you of a long and happy life that is promised by God. 


May God bless you  

This Research Article is the presentation of
Paul Wong to the ARK Forum on June 17, 2006

This article was published on this Website on August 4, 2009  

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Last Updated on Wednesday, 05 August 2009 03:45